An update on where I am now.

I have been a horrible blogger this past couple of weeks, and I decided that before I blast into outer space on my own personal rocket ship and leave anyone who might be worried wondering where I am (again), I would give an update on what’s going on in my life, and why I might not be as active in the future.

To begin – and I don’t want to say this, but it feels important that I be honest – last Saturday, I had an anxiety attack. I’ve had Generalized Anxiety Disorder since I was sixteen, maybe before, but I’ve never had an attack as bad as that one. I scared the shit out of my parents. The truth is that having graduated this year, I’ve been stressing myself sick while I try to figure out what I plan to do with my life. I’d decided to take a gap year, but then I began to wonder if that was a mistake, and I didn’t have a job or anything to fall back on, and I wasn’t doing anything to better the situation – on and on and on.

Eventually, I calmed down. I started to think of short-term instead of long-term goals – things that I wanted to accomplish in the next year instead of the next ten years. Narrowing my scope actually made me feel a lot better, because then it was easy: First of all, I wanted a job. It didn’t have to be glamorous, but I wanted a source of income so I could become financially independent. Second of all, I wanted to earn my driver’s license. My disorder has inhibited me from driving in the past, and so I’ve had to rely on alternate transportation – and I’ve grown sick of it. I live in a very rural area, and the nearest store is about seven miles from my house. The bus system is sketchy at best and the taxi service is shit. Thus, the rational course of action is to learn how to drive.

Now, things have begun to look up. I actually do have a job, though I haven’t started yet. It’s definitely not glamorous at all – it’s a starter job, at the general store in my crack of a town – but I’m pissed enough at myself that even if the work is grueling, I plan to keep it until a better opportunity crosses my path. I have also begun to drive, and even though I am still scared to death that I’m going to hit something/someone, I’ve found that I actually do like driving. It helped when I realized that no one, and I mean no one, is a perfect driver.

It is because of said job that I might not be around to post much; it will probably take me a lot longer to finish a book. Additionally, because I’m focusing on real life, I’ll be putting less attention to reviews and updating my blog. This is troublesome because I decided that I want to be an editor – there is actually a really funny story behind that, by the way – and because, even if no one else cares about it, I’m still passionate about Project Bungou Stray Dogs. I’ve decided that I will post when I have the time and review when I want to, instead of forcing myself to juggle too many things at once.

So, that is all. I am not going away completely, but in case I’m not around as often, I wanted to let everyone know. The last thing that I want is to abandon this blog and this community that I’ve grown so fond of. You are all so caring and supportive, and I don’t want to leave any of you behind.

Until we meet again. ❤

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(^I just started watching Uta no Prince-Sama. I don’t know if it’s the worst or the best thing that’s ever happened to me.)

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Possible hiatus?

These past few weeks have felt insane. A new trimester started, and suddenly I’m thrust into two portfolios that I need to work on, not to mention my other homework and personal projects. I’ve felt extremely stressed out, which is something that I’m not used to. The amount of time I read each day has gone from being cut in half to being cut into a fourth.

So, no, I am not happy.

Critiquing books is something that I want to pursue as a career, so being drawn away from it makes me extremely anxious. That being said, until I graduate and who knows what else happens, school comes first, and I might have to put some things on hold until I straighten everything out and get back on track again. The first on the list of ‘some things’ is, unfortunately, my blog.

I don’t know how long I’ll be gone, but I would gauge that I’ll be sparse until after the new year. I’ll still be writing reviews until then, I just won’t post them until I come back. So, if it seems like I’ve suddenly jumped off of the face of the earth – a habit that I’ve developed that I really need to fix – I am just taking a break.

Until then: happy holidays from me, and stay warm. It’s freaking cold over here in the Midwest.

If I’m being perfectly honest….

I need to vent about something quickly. Don’t worry, it won’t be full of anguish, but it’s something that’s been spinning around in my head all summer.

I’m debating whether I should stop posting reviews on Goodreads, and just post them exclusively here.

I love Goodreads – I was addicted to it for quite some time – but creating distance from it, as I’ve been doing, has lead me to feel detached from it completely. I have plenty of friends that I love to interact with, and I’m sure many of you know how fun Goodreads can be…but lately, the only reason I’ve been coming around is to keep track of the books I’ve been reading. Nothing else.

A lot of users have stopped posting reviews because of Goodreads’s censorship and because they fail to meet the needs of their community. I kept going at it because it was the only place I could express how I feel about the books I read – but now I have this blog, and even though it’s only been a couple of months, I really enjoy working on it. Having a Goodreads account feels almost…unnecessary.

I’ll think this over for a while longer, but the point is, I probably won’t be as active on Goodreads as I have been, and not just for the summer. Sorry.

Manga reviews!

I’ve been thinking a lot about this, and I’ve decided that soon enough, I’m going to start reviewing certain manga series as well as novels here on my blog!

I don’t review manga on Goodreads mainly because most of my friends don’t read manga, but here on my blog, I have the freedom to do whatever I want. I want to expand my reviews to graphic novels, because as well as being a writer, I am also an artist, and I have a lot to say about artwork as much as writing.

Besides…manga is just…awesome.

I’ll probably start by reviewing a couple of old favorites, and once I work my way towards the middle of a series, I’ll begin reviewing them as well. By the 10th volume or so (since quite a few series go to 20 volumes, but there are a few that have exceeded 70!) I should be able to form a respectable opinion about the story, the artwork, the layout, everything.

I’m really excited about this. I have so many mangas left to read, too! I’m just getting started.

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